My Side WonRomans 12:18

The Shout After the Room Went Quiet

This message is for A committee winner sitting beside a silent phone needs to choose the person over the victory without retracting a conviction or judging the old dispute.

For the person who heard their own voice land in a silence nobody filled.

Picture a village hall at about twenty past nine, with forty people in it and a decision that has taken two hours longer than anybody budgeted for.

A woman near the front has been holding a position all evening, carefully and with real evidence, against a man who has been holding the other one with equal care. It's been good tempered. Somebody made a joke at eight that everybody needed.

Then, at the point where she can feel the room starting to move her way, she says one sentence slightly louder than the rest, with an edge on it that she did not plan and does not recognize.

She's right. The sentence is accurate and it lands, and the man opposite doesn't answer it.

Nobody answers it. Forty people look at the table, the chair says something procedural, and the vote goes her way four minutes later.

What she takes home isn't the result. It's the quality of the two seconds after she stopped talking, which is a silence she has never heard in that room in eleven years, and she can still hear it in the car.

You are able to name what that silence cost without giving back a word of what you argued. The written Word limits your part in peace to what actually lies within you, and the Holy Spirit is the one carrying whatever sits beyond it.

The Shout After the Room Went Quiet

The Two Seconds Nobody Talks About

Everybody remembers a room falling silent. Almost nobody describes what it actually is.

It isn't shock, and it isn't people being impressed. It's forty individuals each deciding, simultaneously and without conferring, that they would rather not be the next person to speak. That's a collective judgment about safety, and it gets made in about half a second.

She won the vote comfortably. She also taught a room, accidentally and in one sentence, that this particular subject now carries a risk it didn't carry at eight o'clock.

You know those two seconds. It isn't shame and it isn't a reason to doubt your case. It's the discovery that a room can agree with you and get quieter at the same time, and that both of those can be your own work.

As Much as Lieth in You

Here's a sentence Paul writes to believers in Rome, in a long run of practical instructions about living alongside people:

If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.Romans 12:18 (KJV)

Read the two qualifiers he puts in front of the command. If it be possible. As much as lieth in you. Both of them arrive before he asks for anything at all.

He's writing to people who cannot control the other party and he refuses to hand them a responsibility that runs past their own hands. The instruction is real. Its boundary is drawn in the same breath, by him, before anybody can start carrying what isn't theirs.

Your share of the peace is bounded, and God drew the boundary rather than you. The written Word names the limit before it names the duty, and the Holy Spirit carries what falls on the far side of it.

An Edge Wins the Room and Cools It

Here's what I'd carry out of that hall if I could take a single thing away with me.

An edge on a sentence is enormously effective, which is precisely the problem. It concentrates attention, it signals that the speaker is past negotiating, and it very often produces exactly the result it was aimed at.

It also does a second job that nobody chooses. It tells everybody present what the cost of disagreeing has just become. That information spreads through a room faster than any argument, and it stays long after the minutes are filed.

So the edge did both jobs at once. She got the vote and the room got the message, and she has no way of separating the two because they arrived in the same sentence.

An edge wins the room and cools it in the same sentence. The written Word bounds your part in the peacemaking rather than asking you to argue better, and the Holy Spirit is the one doing what your competence cannot.

Nothing Here Says Your Position Was Wrong

Let me be plain, because there's a version of this message that would do you real harm and I won't write it.

I'm not adjudicating the decision. If your evidence was good, it was good, and nothing in this message hints that you should reverse a position you believe in order to warm a room.

I'm also not asking you to apologize for the argument. What you might one day want to say a word about is two seconds of tone, and that is a completely different thing from the case you made, and confusing the two would be dishonest.

You can keep every part of the argument and still name the two seconds. Scripture never asks you to concede the point in order to live peaceably, and the Holy Spirit does the warming rather than the arbitrating.

The Sentence You Can Put Down

Here's the turn, and it's smaller than a decision and steadier than a mood.

The silence in that hall was never a sign that your case was weak. It was an edge doing the second job an edge always does, and nobody has ever told you that the two jobs arrive in one sentence and cannot be ordered separately. No one put it there by design, and no one has spoken of it since.

I'm saying it now. Your part is what lies within you, and it ends at your own hands. Two seconds of tone are inside that boundary. The rest of the room is not a problem you have been assigned.

You can do your part and leave the far side of it to Him. The written Word bounds the peacemaking at what lies in you, and the Holy Spirit makes I would rather be at the table than at the head of it something you can live with on a drive home.

Declare this over yourself

You are in Christ and Christ is in you, so what follows is not a claim made out of your own authority. It is agreement, said back to God in His own words, while the Holy Spirit carries it. How He orders the rest of it is His to decide, and He answers in His own way and in His own time.

Say this once, slowly, with the hall locked and the car still.

Winning left me hungry, and I would rather have the room than the last word. The Word of God says to live peaceably as much as lieth in me, so my part has a boundary that He drew and not one I invented. The Holy Spirit carries whatever falls on the far side of that line tonight. I am done paying for a victory with two seconds I can still hear. I keep every piece of evidence I brought, and I hold the room over the edge in my voice rather than under it. When I see him stacking chairs again, I can take the other side of the row.

Why we ask you to say these out loud

Stories in these messages are illustrations unless marked as testimony.

This message is free. Nothing here is locked, nothing is for sale, and nothing is being asked of you.

The word this stands on

Romans 12:18

This message is free, and always will be. There is nothing to unlock, nothing to subscribe to, and nothing you owe for having received it.

More Manna

1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

After the Last Reply

My Side Won7 minJubilee
1 Corinthians 13:2
Romans 12:18
My Side Won

The Ballot Beside the Silent Phone

My Side Won7 minTahoma
Romans 12:18
1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

The Blue Ribbon In The Empty Kitchen

My Side Won7 minEliana
1 Corinthians 13:2
1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

The Bookmark in the Closed Book

My Side Won7 minZev
1 Corinthians 13:2
1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

The Correct Map and the Empty Van

My Side Won7 minCaleb
1 Corinthians 13:2
1 Corinthians 8:1
My Side Won

The Corrected Sentence and the Empty Desk

My Side Won7 minZariah
1 Corinthians 8:1
1 Corinthians 8:1
My Side Won

The Cost of Being Right

My Side Won7 minMelody
1 Corinthians 8:1
1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

The Download Count Beside the Spare Headphones

My Side Won7 minNova
1 Corinthians 13:2
1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

The Letter That Agreed With Me

My Side Won7 minAmir
1 Corinthians 13:2
1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

The Motion Passed Eight to Four

My Side Won7 minElias
1 Corinthians 13:2
1 Corinthians 13:2
My Side Won

The Trophy Beside the Empty Chair

My Side Won7 minSantiago
1 Corinthians 13:2
Acts 11:26
Called Christians First

The Blank Beside Denomination

Called Christians First8 minMelody
Acts 11:26
Luke 24:30-31
Whose Bread It Is

The Bread Basket Backstage

Whose Bread7 minSantiago
Luke 24:30-31
Ephesians 4:4-6
Before The Split

The Answer I Gave the Driver

Before The Split7 minAmir
Ephesians 4:4-6
1 Corinthians 15:3
The Words I Inherited

A Thousand Times and Never Once

Words7 minZev
1 Corinthians 15:3
2 Timothy 2:19
Who Is In

The Card in the Restricted Drawer

Who Is In7 minZev
2 Timothy 2:19
John 17:20-23
The Prayer He Prayed

The Brace Was Never the Building

Prayer Prayed7 minElias
John 17:20-23
Acts 11:26
Called Christians First

The Name Above the Boxes

Called Christians First7 minAmir
Acts 11:26
1 Corinthians 10:16-17
Whose Bread It Is

The Chair Carried Back From the Rain

Whose Bread7 minTahoma
1 Corinthians 10:16-17
Ephesians 4:4-6
Before The Split

The Answer With No Opponent In It

Before The Split7 minTahoma
Ephesians 4:4-6
Romans 10:9
The Words I Inherited

The Caption I Finally Spoke

Words7 minZariah
Romans 10:9
2 Timothy 2:19
Who Is In

The Chair at the Edge of the Diagram

Who Is In7 minNova
2 Timothy 2:19
John 17:20-23
The Prayer He Prayed

The Harmony I Was Not Asked to Conduct

Prayer Prayed7 minSantiago
John 17:20-23
Acts 11:26
Called Christians First

The Name Before the Stitching

Called Christians First7 minZariah
Acts 11:26
1 Corinthians 10:16-17
Whose Bread It Is

The Crumb in the Coat Pocket

Whose Bread7 minCaleb
1 Corinthians 10:16-17
1 John 3:1
Before The Split

The Box On The Form

Before The Split7 minZariah
1 John 3:1
Romans 10:9-10
The Words I Inherited

The Line Beneath My Grandfather's Breath

Words7 minTahoma
Romans 10:9-10
2 Timothy 2:19
Who Is In

The Chalk Line and the Survey

Who Is In7 minElias
2 Timothy 2:19
John 17:20-21
The Prayer He Prayed

The Ink Still Wet Between Us

Prayer Prayed7 minZev
John 17:20-21
Acts 11:26
Called Christians First

The Name Beneath the Family Quilt

Called Christians First7 minTahoma
Acts 11:26
Luke 22:19
Whose Bread It Is

The Cups From Both Rooms

Whose Bread7 minNova
Luke 22:19
Hebrews 12:2
Before The Split

The Compass That Did Not Point Away

Before The Split7 minZev
Hebrews 12:2
Genesis 1:1
The Words I Inherited

The Line I Nearly Swallowed

Words7 minElias
Genesis 1:1
2 Timothy 2:19
Who Is In

The Cousin Outside My Pencil Line

Who Is In7 minTahoma
2 Timothy 2:19
John 17:20-23
The Prayer He Prayed

The Prayer Between Two Steeples

Prayer Prayed7 minImani
John 17:20-23